It’s the Day of Pentecost! It’s also the time of year when my former UCCan students and colleagues in ministry reminisce about their ordination services. Several Anglican friends were also ordained on or near this holy day. Presbyterians don’t bother with dates when scheduling ordinations. I was ordained in February, during an East Coast ice storm.

Today I recall a time at Toronto School of Theology when I sat at the edge of a group of Anglican students. Both schools were represented. The question was, “Does ordination confer an ontological change?” Those from the college on the north side of Harbord Street said Yes. Those from the south side said No. This Presbyterian was amused. Ordination may be important, but it certainly couldn’t reshape a soul.

Still, I wondered if I would feel something change inside me when I was finally ordained.

Now, after spending two-thirds of my life so far either preparing for or serving in ordered ministry, I realize the soul-shaping happens over time. An ontological change begins, perhaps for some at ordination. This Presbyterian believes it may have begun when I said Yes to God’s call. This Calvinist says it began when I realized my vocation. Perhaps a Calvinist should say there was no change at all. I was who I was before I drew my first breath. I just had to grow up into being who God made me to be.

I’m writing about just one dimension of ordered ministry. Primus inter pares among the three: Vocation, Office, and Profession. I accepted and was a steward of the Office. I did my best to practice the Profession. Both required allegiance to the capital C Church, the institution, and loyalty to the Presbyterian Church in Canada in particular. Neither shaped or expressed my identity as one who has been called.

Neither had anything to do with my being. I’m off the job now, but I’m still fully who I am. Sadly, many of us who have been ordained find it very hard to say that.

More to come…